September 2025
Just My Imagination... Running Away With Me...
Have you ever had to reel it back in on liking someone, not because they weren't a good person. But because of the creation you made of them?
I painted a picture, I thought I drew you well.
But this isn't the person in front of me, and it took steps back and silence to realize that. Back in May, I guess I really was stirred up in romantic longing. I came to a conclusion - God I sound like a science experiment but stick with me - that I don't actually like romance or dating... but the build up of it. I like the edges, not the center; it's the parts of my dating life that felt the most alive. I love the ache, it's comforting and even safer. The will they won't they.
It especially showed up in my writing when I couldn't seem to write a confident echo back to the original cathartic piece like I like to do. Even the echo isn't quite satisfying to me because it is still what is the problem I have, the happy ending - up for debate - isn't satisfying. At best, the last sentence wraps all of this up in a purr, but not concluding or comforting to the initial call. My last call and response were two perfect duos (Comets and Coins), I know I can't compare my children... But maybe you on the other side of the screen can decide if I am wrong. Once it leaves my desk it is no longer mine anyway.
The Call "In My Head" - read it here.
The Response "In My Bed" - read it here.
Two Titans
In May, I felt like a bad friend.
I mean it.
I felt like I was letting someone slip through my fingers and was being selfish with this person. I loved and craved them so much, but by May we both slowly stopped talking to one another and it wasn't worth keeping up a facade of friendship. They came to me and asked "do you like your newer friends better..." and after that phone call, this was the general gist of what was said.
I Would Say I'm Happy For You, But I'm Lying
Adding to the poems of writing about a not-ex-ex, back in February and May. The knife was already in, but some people like to twist; others like to stab again for good measure.
How The Mighty Fall
Como se dice "whoops"? Not an intentional whoops, but more life washed over and took over for a stretch of time. Usually this blog can take about a month or two break, but all of spring and summer is quite sometime. The short version is my last living parent had a fall, and fought for their life to be here. It looks like moving forward, they're going to need more care. Until I have a consistent work situation (remember that layoff last year? Yeah, still struggling with finding work...) and a home help situation for said parent, writing is going to have to take a huge back burner.
Since my unintended hiatus, I was able to write some short snippets here and there. Some of them based off of chapters from a book I've been reading too. The premise was in fact an amazing starting point for some exercises on emotional reflection - the main emotion I wanted to tackle was regret. I'm going to spend this month and next month adding some of those pieces on my Tumblr blog to this one (the more professional and combed through blog with my thoughts...I think....lol...).
My best friend is doing a 20K in five days sprint. It made me miss writing my outlines and as well as sharing more of my pieces that I have online; and submissions. I'm going to send out the work that I have and keep editing them as time has forced me to take a step back and look at these pieces with a fresh eye. So while they are being productive today, I wanted to join in on that spirit too.
March 2025
Button Configurations and Adjustments
After talking with a friend of mine this week, I'm hiding the All American Rejects button (for now). Something something intentions something something wrong message. While yes, I enjoy my humor, I understand their perspective and want to sit with it more as I find a way to incorporate unselected work that, mind you, I am still very proud of.
Tell Me When
I'm adding samples of the novellas I've been writing in secret. I need more samples of my writing here. (Like for a portfolio website, I sure have a bare bones portfolio. Only scripts and poems. 😗) Poems will pour in on a later date. Excited for some characters to make their way to my website.
Read the sample of "Tell Me When" here.
But Why?
Because I want to create fresh and new work after so many rejections. There are some pieces strong enough to continue submitting, my stubbornness knows no bounds. But after a while, I can place this work down and scratch out more ideas from my brain. I'll eventually get back to old pieces, edit, and try again. I just have so many ideas I want to get down, I can't worry about 'no's' right now. Manuscript rejections are one thing, but my poems and short stories? Nope. If they don't have a home with magazines I admire then they will always have a home in me. Even if it is sarcastic and (maybe, not to me) over the top.
Elder Emo Roots
Leaning into being an all American crybaby. There are some short stories and poems I wrote specifically for magazines in mind that just didn't make the cut. So, I'm publishing them as samples online. They might also make their way into becoming zines in the future. Who knows. But they will live here on my portfolio. So if you see a button that reads "The All American Rejects", that is your context.
Read "Tuna Salad" here.
Read "I'm Yours" here.
Read "Unrequited Crushing" here.
The list will continue to grow. I'm absolutely sure of that. But for now, enjoy these new writing samples of mine that have been short listed and not even listed.
February 2025
WOW!!!
Everyone can we get some commotion for the cover of my next zine? I send thanks to the designer I work with who understands the vision.
You're Not Special
if everyone
is a phoenix
then
burning
is normal
– you're not special
I'm playing around with the draft of this poem. I think it is coming along nicely. Drafting this poem makes me wonder about making Chapbooks to view on my website. Nothing special but a nice collection that I don't mind everyone reading. Nothing too heavy or too serious. (What is balance lol?)
Poems and Complaining and Sulking and Getting Upset All Over Again and...
and and and and and...
Social Media Expanding
I'm now active on BlueSky as poetcresc.bsky.social.
It's weird because I've been active there for the past couple months. Not to say that there are many of you who look for me anywhere tbh. (I've noticed that I enjoyed starting over this time.) I just need to find a way to start following my favorite pubs and such on the blue app. It helped me keep up with publication tracking.
This year I actually want to submit to pubs more. I have more than enough poems, short stories, and scripts that I can wait a month or so and get my update of my submission.
So look forward to more practice essays on the blog (Tumblr), updates on my website (this blog lol), and yapping on Twitter and on BlueSky. I actually want to try for ... maybe one season and see what happens.
For My Not Peanut Gallery
This is for the audience who doesn't pay to get in, but certainly loves to watch, comment, criticize, and bully. This is also for those who are tired of getting the short stick and for some reason always have others watching them deal with life and their short stick.
The Last Poem of 2024
I think it speaks a lot on how I plan on moving into 2025. I need louder love, I need love that will willingly speak my love language.... because otherwise I don't / won't understand and will feel like a burden. I know that burden-ism fixing starts from within and with me. But damn could a couple external examples help me find my own trajectory too.
Bippity Bappity Black
First and always I am black. I am African American. I am a product of the African Diaspora. I will always have things that stand in my way but I will never be silent about it. I will never bit my tongue to appease and avoid white tears, because black hardships, blood, tears, and sacrifices will always come second to it to them. Read me however you please because the only tone that is in-between the lines is the one you'll always assume to be of malice.
For my skinfolk that have to also deal with shrinking yourselves in white spaces to keep your bills paid or to shrink yourselves because you want to fit in, I hope this year of ALL years you learn to grow regardless and shake the space you are allowed to take.
Rock it. Knock it. Revel in it.
May the rooms you walk in bloom because of the reminder that the sun kisses you most and longer. May your confidence never waver. And during this time of trying to silence our history our pain our love our voices, you don't f*#%ing bend you don't yield. May your voice crescendo and become impossible to ignore and the point actually be heard.
Happy New Year